I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
