Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
