i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
