Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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