IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
soo... how was my night?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
