normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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