The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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