is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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