I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
