her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
