I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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