If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize