she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
