Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
