His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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