i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize