So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
