there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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