Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
