youre lurking in front of me
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
