Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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