I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
