Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
