I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
