you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
