new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
