a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
