You can't special order awesome
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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