you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
