there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
