And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
