She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
