I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize