great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
