I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
