sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
