dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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