You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
