Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
