Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
