Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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