Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have tasted many bathrooms
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
