She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize