My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
