ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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