Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
