In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
