OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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