She is in my trunk
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
