Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
