She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
don't judge my taste in strippers
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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