hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
