So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
