wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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