He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
