The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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