im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
