for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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