I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I believe in your delicious
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
