Are we in a gay sports bar?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Randomize
