I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Your penis caused this!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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