Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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