that's an acceptable place to lick
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
