Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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