I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
